


On The Run

by AssbuttsPrevail



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Castiel run away, F/M, Human Castiel, M/M, On the Run, Suicide Notes, Teen Angst, Teen Dean Winchester, Teen Romance, Teen Sam Winchester, Teenagers, false suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 10:45:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2065149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssbuttsPrevail/pseuds/AssbuttsPrevail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel feels trapped in Pontiac, Illinois by his controlling family and feels as though he has no control of his life and needs to get out and start over. Leaving everything he knows behind him he creates a false suicide with the help of Jody Mills, and runs off to Sioux Falls, South Dakota to stay with and old friend of Jody's named Bobby Singer. There Castiel meets two brothers and becomes apart of their life, while trying to keep his old life and new life separate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Storm Before the Calm

**Author's Note:**

> UNFINISHED  
> This will probably never be finished, I began this a year ago and I never kept up with it. Mostly because I felt that the story really wouldn't work out the way I wanted it to and there would be a lot of plot holes. I'm real sorry but I'm working on another one that the moment. I'm keeping this up because it's a reminder to myself how easily it is to start a story but how difficult it is to finish one. Also, how I can improve my writing technique.  
> Once again, I'm very sorry to all the readers who were interested in the fic.  
> -Juda

      _Just a few more days, then I’ll be out of here._ Castiel mouthed to himself. He shrugged on his deep blue blazer and looked at himself in the mirror _Freedom_ , it seemed to repeat in his head like a skipping CD. He’d probably believe the words if he could say it out loud, but wouldn't dare to breath a word about his plan at home or school or anywhere for that matter besides Jody Mills’ home because of the risk of anyone to hear him. His plan was only told to Officer Mills because she was the only one who helped him, and swore to not tell a living soul.

  
    Castiel looked over at the small black cube sitting on his nightstand that was his alarm clock. It was 7:00 a.m. which gave him more or less 10 minutes for him and his younger brother, Samandriel, to finish getting ready and to leave for school. And, with that time Castiel muddled around his room dragging his hand though his damp chocolate brown hair, soothing it over so it didn't look like a bird’s nest. He walked aimlessly around his room running though this mental check list before deciding that everything was in bit of a clustered place. Looking over at his clock again after a few minutes passed he concluded to go downstairs and great his brothers, which wasn't his most favorite thing. Castiel reached toward the door knob and mouthed again, three more days, and left his room.

  
    Castiel watched his brown dress shoes shuffle across the cream color carpet leading to the cherry mahogany stairwell. He glided his hand down the twisting railing that shined in the dimmest of lighting because of being recently waxed. Once he reached the bottom of the stairwell he panned over the caramel and pristine white living room that looked untouched and belonged to in a magazine. No one ever really was ever in the open area filled with religious passages from the bible about success and antique porcelain angels playing harps, besides his father and two oldest brothers, Michael and Zachariah, with an occasional appearance of their father with a business associate. Castiel always noticed there were never any family photos anywhere to be seen in the room, Castiel to ask his father when he was younger but was shut down every time, so slowly he stopped asking. He silently signed and drifted off to the kitchen to find his one of his brothers hunched over the kitchen’s breakfast bar.

  
    “Good morning, Castiel.” Zachariah greeted him rising up from the granite to look down at Castiel.

  
    “Good morning.” Castiel answered flatly walking past him not bothering to make any sort of eye contact as he walked to the cabinet for a glass.

  
    “Oh no need for that, I've already got your medication and a glass right here.” Zachariah gestured to the orange juice and small pile of pills on the countertop. Castiel rotated himself around and eyed the objects. It was not usual for his brothers to set out his anti-depressants for him, he automatically thought that they were onto him. Castiel had been taking anti-depressants for a little over two years now because his father and brothers believed he was mentally ill since he didn’t obey the way he was intended to. Castiel knew better though, he wasn't depressed, he had more free will surging though his bones, a more independent mind. He had not taken his medication many other times before, but from lack of keeping the evidence hidden, they found out each time and chewed him out and was watched for months making sure the medicine was taken.

  
    “Uh, thanks.” Castiel knew he had to actually had to put the pills into his mouth today, he’d usually just slip them into his pocket when they were distracted, however, Zachariah was observing his every move. Castiel dropped the pills into his mouth and followed with the glass of orange juice, he slipped the into the corners of his mouth and under his tongue, he’d this many times before that he was practically a pro at hiding the small capsules. He drank the entire glass to final off his charade. Zachariah glared as he searched for every inch of Castiel’s face for a lie, but seemed to find nothing.

  
    “Our father left last night.” Zachariah finally said after a few seconds of silence.

  
    “I know.” Castiel replied blandly, “I got the text message as the same as you did.” Their father was the CEO of Grandeur Enterprises; a wealthy banking company usually used my celebrities or highly wealthy and powerful people. So when business called he left, which was most of the time. Sometimes he’d tell his sons in person over a family meeting or something, but when he was in too much of a rush to tell them in person a simple text message would suffice. “And I also know that Michael is head of the house until he comes back, like every other time so spare me the lecture again.”

  
    “Do not get smart Castiel. I do not have any tolerance for you right now,” Michael stalked into the kitchen at the same moment Castiel almost finished his sentence, “especially after you’re little stunt being late the other night.”

  
    Castiel rolled his eyes “It was not a stunt, Michael. I was help—“

    “I don’t want to hear your lousy, false, excuses anymore, you were late—“Michael interrupted louder,

    “I’m telling the truth, why won’t you listen!” Castiel interrupted back raising his voice back trying not to slur with the medication still in his mouth, even though it was somewhat a lie because he was helping out Officer Mills with the plan.

    “CASTIEL I AM DONE WITH YOUR FUCKING ANTICS!” Michael grabbed Castiel by the wrist and wrenched his arm ruthlessly, “DAMMIT, YOU WERE LATE FOR THE FAMILY MEAL, IT HAD BEEN PLANNED FOR WEEKS AND YOU WERE LATE. EVERY TIME SOMETHING HAPPENS YOU ALWAYS END UP SCREWING IT OVER!” his grip tightened like a snake choking its prey.

    “Alright, that’s enough.” Zachariah stepped in finally realizing the situation was getting out of hand, he walked a step closer to the two. Michael and Castiel stood still for a second, until Michael’s shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. Castiel was filled with so much rage that he couldn’t hold back the words he was about to say, which was a bad idea to say.

    “Screw your family meal.” Castiel spat through his teeth.

The world stood still in that moment. And everything was at a standstill.

   Michael’s eyes filled with such intense wrath you could almost see hell’s fire burn though his irises. Castiel regretted his words so much and knew what he was in for. In a blink of a second Michael’s meaty hands sunk in like talons into Castiel’s throat, with a pause he looked him dead in the eye, and threw him around and slammed him into the wall with a bang, knocking the wind out of Castiel’s lungs. Everything seemed to slow down to Castiel as he tried to get air back into his lungs. He sat there for a few moments as he gained back everything he lost from the blow. Castiel’s eyes focused again as he looked up to see Michael stand there, frozen, looking down at him as Zachariah’s flipped back and forth the other brothers, and he did not expect such a violent action from Michael. Castiel got up from the floor, regained his balance, and looked at Michael with such pain and distrust in his electric blue eyes, and walked off without any other word.

   Castiel jolted up to his room and locked the door. Frustration, anger, pain, and betrayal flooded every inch of his throbbing body. Thoughts overflowed his blurred mind, _Just hold on for three more days and then were out of here_ , he spat out the soggy pills that lingered in his mouth into a post-it. _If I can even fucking wait that long, dammit!_ The words seemed to scream in his mind. He crumpled up the little sheet of paper and threw into the garbage, not even thinking of how he was disposing it. “GOD DAMMIT.” Belted out, wanting to break something. He darted back and forth in his room until it turned to a slow pace as the adrenaline drained out of him. But a small knock on his door interrupted his pace.

   “Castiel, it’s Samandriel.” His voice spoke close to the door, “I’m almost ready to go.” Castiel forgot about school since his mind was wrapped up in all sorts of anger and stress.

   “Uh-um okay I’ll meet you in the car.” Castiel managed to stay though the thick feeling in his throat. Castiel watched as the shadow from under the door disappear, he knew that Samandriel knew what just happened to him and could tell he needed space. Castiel silently thanked him for it. Samandriel was his only brother that he could enjoy in the house, he did adore his brother, Gabriel, when he was younger, but he skipped out once he turned 18, he couldn't handle the family either, and they never heard from him since. But Samandriel was different from everyone in the Angelos household, he was willing to listen, and talk things out with people, and never judged on what you said; he believed everyone had good intentions, to a certain degree of course. And Castiel adored his younger sibling; they actually enjoyed their company and helped each other when they could. Samandriel would be the only person Castiel would miss when he’d follow through with his plan.

    Castiel grabbed his backpack from the corner of his bed and slung it over his should, unlocked the door, and left his room. Back down the stairs he darted to the front door, wanting to leave his house as fast as possible. Once he had his hand wrapped around the silver door know he heard a,

   “I want you home right after school. No exceptions.” from Michael. Castiel just shook his head silently and unbolted the door and left.

    A sigh of relief escaped from his lips. He strode over to his 2012 Acura TL that was coated with dark blue finish that was his gift from his father for his 16th birthday when he was in Russia for a conference. Castiel enjoyed the vehicle but felt as though it was too expensive for his liking. He unlocked the door and slid into the driver seat, he put the key in the ignition and turned it forward, the car purred to life. Castiel rolled down all the windows to release the still air, with a cool morning wind. Waiting patiently, he let his head slide against the headrest, closing his eyes feeling the breeze caress his skin and the throbbing of his left wrist, he’d didn't bother to look at it because he knew it would bruise. Getting treated like a rag doll wasn't new to Castiel; Michael had anger issues (obviously), and tends to take it out with brute force. Usually, he’d break and object or few then actually someone, but angered enough, a body would take the beating. One this Castiel would never allow was Michael putting his hands on Samandriel, anytime Samandriel was in the line of fire Castiel would rip his out of the way, it wasn't every often because of Samandriel would do as he was told and stayed in the shadows. Wandering thoughts were interrupted from the opening of the passenger door opened.

    “Sorry about that, I had to go pack and print my essay.” Samandriel spoke as slipped into the seat. “It flew over my head until the last second.” Castiel’s head rose and eyes opened.

    “It’s alright; I didn't even notice that you were gone long.” He pulled the car into reverse and pulled out of the driveway.

    “Are you alright, Castiel?” his younger brother blurted out changing the topic abruptly. “I heard what happened between you and Michael. I was in the other room.” His sincere voice somewhat calmed Castiel,

    “Not exactly alright, but I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” Castiel leaned forward looking both ways before turning.

    “But I am worried; he threw you against the wall. And you’re brushing it off like nothing happened. I know you would have done something about that instead of getting up and walking off.” Samandriel turned his head to Castiel looking troubled. “That’s not you, and I know it.”

    “I don’t want to talk about this.” He simply replied grow agitated.

    “Come on Castiel, you can’t just take it! Fight back, it’s like you’re giving up.” Samandriel huffed

    “No Samandriel, I am not talking about this.” Castiel said sternly. Silence stood between them for a few moments until Samandriel spoke up again

    “I’m jus—I’m tired of you taking everything and acting like it’s okay, but I can tell you’re not.” He sighed, slouching into the seat. A few more moments passed. Castiel exhaled,

    “Just promise me that if I’m not around and Michael tries to hurt you… You, fight back, no matter what.” Castiel looked over at his when they were at a stoplight, eyes squinting at him.

    “Yea, sure, Castiel. But, why?” Great distress filled Samandriel’s baby blue eyes.

    “So you don’t end up like me.” Was all he could say. Samandriel couldn't know that he was leaving everything he had behind and was never going to be there to protect him. The rest of the ride to school was silent. Castiel pulled up to back of the school instead of parking. Samandriel looked at his brother skeptical,

    “Why are you…” his face relaxed, realizing what was happening, “You’re not going to class, are you?” Castiel shook his head.

    “No, I’m not.” Castiel replied in a low, hushed voice. Samandriel looked down and slightly nodded. He hauled his backpack into his lap, his soft eyes once again caught with Castiel’s.

    “Well then I’ll see you later?” he asked as he got out of the car, pulling the strap onto his shoulder.

    “I’ll pick you up after school.” And with that Samandriel closed the car door and waved goodbye, Castiel waved in return and, drove off.

    The destination was clear in Castiel’s mind as he drove though the streets of Pontiac, Illinois, there was no better place to be in his final days of being in the city. It was the only place where he could truly unwind and be himself; where he finalized his thoughts and let his mind drift off into wild ideas. On his way sanctuary he thought about how furious Michael would be once he finds out that he ditched school today, but once he thought about it he wasn't very concerned, in his mind, there wasn't much point of going to school anymore, his last days at his private school would be a waste of time. He didn't have many friends in the first place, Castiel was not a social butterfly in any type of way; he'd prefer being somewhere quite and reading a book then party like all the other private school students did. Castiel didn't mind that he was like what way, he was just very selective with the relations he makes. Castiel pulled into the parking lot that was next to an empty playground, it was still too early for kids to wake up and play on the slides. He parked and rolled up the windows, he turned to his backpack in the backseat and opened it. He dumped out all the textbooks and folders, only leaving two books, a few notebooks and a pocket full of pens and pencils. He zipped up the bag once again and left the car, and followed the path that curved around the playground, deeper into the park. After a few minuets of walking the path divided into the main path and a dirt path, Castiel took the dirt path that lead to a patch of trees and a small pond. Once he reached deep enough into the trees he got off the path and his own that he knew for years that lead to a large oak tree. This oak tree was his little sanctuary, and it was once Gabriel's too before he left. When Castiel was only a small child, every Sunday Gabriel would take him to the park and they'd venture around the area and talk about their week, what books  Castiel read and what he did during recess, or what type of trouble Gabriel got into. But every time they would end up at this oak tree and look down at the pond below and watched the ducks float around, content.

    Castiel climbed the twisting branches until he found the spot he and Gabriel sat, adjusting himself so his back was laying against the base and his legs laid across the branch. He slipped off his backpack and set it in his lap, then shed his blazer off his shoulders and set of on a nearby branch and rolled up his white sleeves. A wave of serene washed over him, he closed his eyes and sat there as the nerves fled his limp body. He didn't know how long he sat there, nor did he care, he was comfortable; But his bliss was interrupted by his phone buzzing in his pocket, repeatedly. He knew it was Michael, it wouldn't anyone else besides Zachariah, but he wouldn't text him at work. Castiel thought about not looking at the texts but he was curious of what his brother said; he pulled out his phone and read the multiple messages.

    "You're not at school? I want you home. Now"

    "Castiel I am sick of the games you are playing."

    Then there was a picture of the pills in an unwrapped post-it note in Michael's hand.

    "If you are not home in 15 minutes I'm coming to find you. You have crossed the line."

    Castiel's heart dropped once he saw the picture, he completely forgot of how he disposed of the medication. He'd usually flush them down the toilet, but he was so livid he disposed then incorrectly. Anxiety burst though his stomach, he couldn't wait three more days, tonight had to be the night. Castiel went though his contacts until he found the name Jody Mills and pressed call. The phone picked up,

    "Hello, Castiel?" Jody answered with slight confusion in her voice.

    "Hello Jody," Castiel went straight to the point, "is everything ready?"

    "Yes but why?" she replied

    "Tonight's the night, it's happening _tonight_."

    "Are you sure you can't just wait a few more days?"

    "It's now or never. Meet at the bridge at 12:15."

    "Alright I'll see you then." A sigh blew into the phone

    "And Jody," Castiel paused, "Thank you."

    "No problem." was Jody's final words as Castiel pressed end. Castiel huffed once more before he whispered to himself,

    "Time to write the suicide letter."


	2. Possum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for me to write the next chapter; I'll try to get chapter three finished soon.

    Arriving back at their home, Castiel and Samandriel exited the Acura that was parked in the driveway. Castiel was hesitant to go inside, because of how much trouble he had caused today in just a few hours. When Michael demanded Castiel to come home he didn’t. Instead he spent his time in the willow tree, waiting for his sibling to be released from school; making his final preparations for the plan. Castiel knew what was going to happen once he stepped foot into the doorway, so did Samandriel; all hell was going to break loose. Samandriel looked over to his brother,

    “Are you ready?” his eyes looked as though they were about to see bull fight. Castiel chucked anxiously,

    “No.” he shook his head to himself and walked off to the main entrance, pausing on the welcome mat, “Go up to your right away, I don’t want you anywhere near him.” Samandriel nodded, keeping his head down as Castiel opened the door. Stepping into the house Castiel moved out of the way so Samandriel could take shelter in his room upstairs, Castiel panned the kitchen and living room, there was a body slouching on the couch with a bottle of vodka and a glass on the table. Castiel wondered if he was passed out and started to head upstairs.

    “Come here Castiel.” The slouched body slurred, not moving an inch. Castiel walked over turning full view of Michael, drunk on the sofa.

    “A bit early for drinking, isn’t it?” Castiel peered down at his brother taking a seat in the lounge chair; Michael glared at his with glossy dull eyes, with a low grunt he pushed himself up. Castiel didn’t know what was going to happen next. Michael simply poured more vodka into the glass.

    “I done, I don’t know what to do anymore. You are so past broken I can’t-” Michael took a large swig and slightly shuddered at the burn of the taste, “You purposely do the opposite of what I ask, no matter what I tell you to do. You act like I’m the bad guy here, I’m not. I am trying to do my best in this household but you seem to tear it up, everything, I worked so hard to put together you seem to destroy. I attempted to discipline you into shape-”

    “More like beat me into shape.” Castiel sneered, Michael’s eye twitched with annoyance taking another shot from the bottle.

    “but you just don’t want to comply.” He continued, “So I’m done trying, it’s exasperating. I can’t seem to help you, so maybe reform school can.”

    “Reform school?” Castiel chuckled in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

    “I quite am. I called our father while you were not at school telling him that you need more help than we can give. You’re leaving for Israel on Saturday, everything is set. You will not be leaving this house whatsoever until your departure.” Michael downed a good portion of the bottle.

    “Did you also tell him that you choked me and threw me against the wall this morning? Because he didn’t seem too happy the last time he found out you put your hands on me. Not to mention all the other incidences since then, there has been quite a few.” Castiel eyed his brother growing excessively enraged. Michael’s breathing grew more rapid, you could hear the huffed breaths escaping his nose.

    “God, I am so sick of you. You and everything you are made of. You know ever since Gabriel left, you acted like you needed to compensate for his absence.” Michael shook the bottle as he pointed at Castiel, “You and Gabriel are the same, you both are broken.” Michael smiled, “You are both are poison to our family, both corrupt. If you too ran Grandeur Enterprises,” Michael chucked a little, “you two would but our family’s name to shame. And I’d be damned to let you guys get your hands on it.”

    “Wait, is that why you are sending me away, because you have an inferiority problem?” Castiel started to realize what was really going through Michael’s mind, “You want it to sound like you’re the one that should take over the company when he dies, right? You’re afraid that our father will pick me over you, so you try to take charge of everything and act responsible so you can impress him. You don’t have to worry about me taking over Grandeur, I don’t want it. And Zachariah is busy building up his branching company, so you don’t have to worry about him. But, what about Samandriel, what are you going to do if he wants the company? Are you going to send him off and attempt to do the same thing like you did with me? Our father already knows that he’s a good kid; he’s not going to believe you for a second. Samandriel is more capable of taking over the company now then you.” No matter what would happen Castiel would always think highly of his little brother. He always thought Samandriel would take over Grandeur Enterprises, but always told Samandriel he could do whatever he wanted in life.

    Michael stayed quite, swallowing the rest of the vodka in the bottle. Once it was empty he looked at the label for a moment, the looked at Castiel with calm glossy eyes; and in a quick moment he threw the bottle at Castiel’s head. Luckily Michael was too drunk to aim correctly; it flew past Castiel’s head and smashed into the wall falling into smaller pieces. Castiel stood up instantly after the pieces fell to the ground and looked at his brother once more.

    “I’ll be out of here sooner than you think.” And walked away to the stairs, one last thing came from Michael’s mouth,

    “Go to hell, Castiel.” It was flat and solid, as if Michael wasn’t even drunk. Castiel was so tempted to reply back but continued up the staircase without any other word.

    Castiel reached his room and shut the door and went straight to his bed. He laid there going over what happened in the day, slowly drifting off into his wandering mind. He didn't realize how long he just laid there in his thoughts until his door opened a little, Samandriel stood in the doorway.

    “Hey.” Castiel mumbled from lack of talking for a long period of time. Samandriel walked into the room more seeming a little annoyed, “What’s up?”

    “Michael is passed out in the living room again; can you help me take him to his room? There’s no one else here and I can’t do it on my own.” Samandriel answered. Castiel nodded, pulling himself up and off the bed; his body feeling a little stiff from lying in one position. They both left the room and headed back downstairs to find their older brother halfway on the couch and halfway on the floor with another half empty bottle of vodka of the coffee table. Alcohol filled the large space, resembling the broken man passed out. Castiel felt a little sorry for him, and he always did; but his brother being his brother made Castiel feel more frustration than sorrow. Castiel and Samandriel took place on each side of Michael grabbing his limp arms.

    “Ready?” Castiel looked over to Samandriel as he nodded. They both pulled their unconscious brother over their shoulders; the smell of vodka seemed to multiply as they carried him off to Michael’s bedroom. Michael’s bedroom was downstairs so carrying him went fairly quickly; it was just off of the living room. Castiel’s foot pushed the door open to the simple bedroom with a large bed in the middle of the room. Together, they softly put Michael on the bed on his side, just in case if he retched he wouldn’t drown in it. They didn’t bother to put any blankets over him either; Michael didn’t seem to like when he was passed out, Samandriel quietly but a trash bin next to his head before he left the room. Castiel looked over his brother; Michael would probably sleep for the rest of the night so their conversation would be their last. Castiel whispered, goodnight so quietly he hardly could hear himself as he left the room. He found Samandriel sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. Castiel looked over at the oven clock saying it was already 6:00, he didn’t realize that he laid in his bed for so long.

    “Are you hungry? I can make some hamburgers if you want?” He asked heading over to the fridge after he heard his stomach growl after not eating all day.

    “That sounds great, actually.” Samandriel replied; Castiel smiled as he grabbed the hamburger from the fridge and ingredients. “So you’re going to reform school, in Israel?” Samandriel asked after a few minutes of silence.

    “I guess so,” Castiel’s first reaction was to say, No I’m not, I’m leaving tonight, but Samandriel couldn’t know about that. “I might be able to talk to our dad about not going, but that’s a long shot.”

    “I don’t think that’s fair, why do you have to go just because Michael is upset.”

    “Because I ruin everything, as Michael said to me.” Castiel shrugged, “I can’t do anything about it, everything is set up, the enrolment, the plane ticket, and I don’t have a choice in any of it.”

    “Well I still think that you should have a say in it at least a little.”

    “You know our family, it’s not possible.” Castiel started padding the hamburger in to round slabs.

    “What am I going to do without you? I’m going to be stuck here without you.” Samandriel sighed, Castiel froze, he knew that he’d be leaving his little brother behind, but Samandriel saying it out loud hurt him. Way before the plan was made Castile weighed the pros and cons, and leaving Samandriel was one of the bigger cons. At one point he thought of bringing him but then the fake suicide wouldn’t work, then a search team would go after them and they’d be found. Castiel figured maybe one day when Samandriel was an adult, he’d go and find him.

    “I know, but when I’m gone I’m sure that they’ll let you do more things; they trust you, not me.” Castiel continued on preparing the food. “You’ll be able to hang out with friends, and stay out late and be an actual teenager.” He shrugged without looking up, “It won’t be so bad.”

    “You better be able to visit for holidays.” Samandriel crossed his arms on the dark granite, slouching slightly, Castiel chucked, nodding.

    Castiel’s and Samandriel’s night was pleasant, and calm to the two. Michael never got up or left his room, and Zachariah was out trying to make his company merge with another. So the two youngest brothers sat around talking about pointless subjects and eating Castiel’s favorite food, they spent hours in contempt and bliss. As it grew later in the night Samandriel grew tired and Castiel grew more impatient and it started to set in that tonight was his final night with his brother.

    “I’m going to take a shower before I go to bed. It’s pretty late, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Samandriel said as he stood up from the chair in the corner of Castiel’s room and stretched; Castiel he rose from his bed, he looked at the clock, it was 11:35.

    “Goodnight, Samandriel.” Castiel smirked, Samandriel shuffled out the doorway rubbing his tied eyes.

    “Goodnight.” Were his final words to Castiel as he headed to the bathroom. Once Castiel heard the shower turn on he went straight to his backpack and grabbed out two letters, one for Samandriel and one for everyone else. He went into his little brother’s room and went straight to the bookshelf, choosing carefully, Castiel grabbed Samandriel’s favorite book, Lord of the Flies, a book Castiel handed down to because Samandriel enjoyed it much more than Castiel ever did. He slipped the folded paper into the part where Simon talks to the Lord of the Flies, Samandriel’s favorite part of the book. Castiel held the closed book in his hands and stared at it for a few moments, second guessing his decision and wondering if he should stay for his brother. The constant tug of pain seem to grow stronger as every second creped on. Castiel couldn’t believe himself second guessing himself, he always imagined himself running out of the house not looking back; but now, he felt rooted to the floor, not being able to leave. Castiel watched as unexpected tears fell onto the small book, snapping his mind back to reality. Remembering all the pros and cons he once debated over months ago, he closed his eyes to stop the tears from falling, forcing every muscle in his body to put the book back on the shelf and to leave the room. He glided back to his room, closing the door slightly too hard; his breathing started to get heavier, feeling as though the air seem to thin around him. He opened his drawer roughly and dug under the folded pairs of pants to a small black backpack and pulled it out. He then went around the room grabbing small stacks of money from small spaces where he hid it slowly accumulating it into the backpack; the total would add up to $745; enough for gas, food, and anything else he might need until he got to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. There was already a bank account waiting for him in Sioux Falls that held $13,828; it was Castiel’s money he had plenty in a bank account that was sitting around, he inherited a lot of money after his mother passed away, he would have taken the money out of this main bank account but his father keeps an close eye on it so all the money that was in cash was from his main account. Castiel’s time was ticking, his pace hurried as he heard his brother come out the shower and walking past his room. He zipped up the backpack and placed it on the bed, realizing his breathing was rather heavy he paused and slowed his pulse, letting his mind clear a little. Once he felt a little calm he pulled out the second note out from his pocket, and set in on the center of his desk softly. He looked over at the clock again, 11:54, in a few minutes he would be leaving his home, forever. A large sigh escaped his lips as he changed into a black suit, a white button up, a blue tie, and his trench coat, the clothes he wore earlier today he set by the backpack. Everything was in place; he took a minute going over a mental checklist reassuring himself. And when it was time, he grabbed the backpack and the pile of clothes and headed out the door, without looking back.

    Once he left his room he did not pause, he flew downstairs and went right out the door, if someone were to stop him he wouldn’t have made it. He slipped into his car, turned it on, pulled out the driveway and drove off. Castiel’s adrenaline was pumping, he drove straight out of town to the bridge, there were hardly any stops so it went quickly. He got to his destination within 10 minutes; he pulled over on the side of the road and did not move an inch, his body and mind were racing so much that he couldn’t move. He finally got out of the car once something in his brain screamed the directions to go out of the car. Castiel turned off the car but left the keys in the ignition, and grabbed the backpack and the clothes. He walked over to the bridge and peered down at the rushing water crashing against itself. The water blocked out all the other noise nearby, without hesitation Castiel dropped the pile of clothes in the water; he watched as they were swept away blissfully, sinking into the water. He examined the way the water flowed, slowly letting his mind drift with it. Life almost seemed to slow as he waited; giving him a clear head remembering every moment he made in this city and how moment would from there on would practically cease to exist. His old life as a son of a multi-millionaire vanished, his new life as a man who had no one began. Castiel was so caught up in his own mind and the rushing waters he didn’t even hear Officer Jody Mills drive up next to his car.

    “Castiel, it’s time.” Jody softy said though the rolled down window, Castiel turned around, adjusted the backpack on his shoulder a bit and entered Jody’s squad car. They drove a few minutes before Jody spoke, “We don’t have to do this today, you still have time to turn back and go home.” Castiel looked over at her with slight disbelief,

    “I can’t go back, you know that. I was far too along once I stepped out of the house. My decision is made.”

    “I know,” Jody glanced over at him, “I was just saying just in case if you had any second thoughts. But, I can see you are determined.” She paused for a moment, “What did you do with your final night there?” Castiel relaxed a bit,

    “I talked to a drunken Michael, carried him off to bed while he was unconscious; and just talked with Samandriel until he was tired. It was… nice in a way.” He shrugged a little looking out at the dark road.

    “So you didn’t get any rest did you?”

    “No, I don’t recall.”

    “Well you should have, once you get on the road you’re not going to stop really, only for gas and bathroom breaks. It’s a long drive, at least 9 hours, you still think you can make it?”

    “Yes, I’ll be fine. I’ll have a lot of coffee or something.” Castiel was getting slightly annoyed of how Jody was unsure about his decision.

    “Alright fine, I’ll lay off.” The conversation dropped as they pulled into Jody’s garage next to a 1989 Chevy C/K pickup that Castiel would be using. They both got out of the car but Castiel didn’t leave the garage. “I’ll be right back.” Jody said as she went into her house to grab the thing Castiel would need. Castiel waited patiently as he could, he leaned against the truck mind going blank. A few minutes later Jody came back with a small bag and a small stack of paper. “Here, in the bag there are the basic necessities that you’ll need. Also the debit card and new license and something extra for you in there so do not lose it.” She handed the papers over, “The directions to get to Sioux Falls, phone numbers, and other information that you’ll need are in there. Um, don’t stop for a break or anything until you’re out of the state. Keep your head down for a while, just in case if anyone sees you.”

    “Thank you Jody, this is much appreciated.” Castiel smiled genuinely, “I know you didn’t want to do this at first, and once you agreed you thought I should have waited until I turned 18. I know if you had gotten caught you would have lost your job. I wish there was some type of way I could reimburse you for everything you have done. I don’t know what would happen, what I do if this wouldn’t have happen; I might have actually ended up dead for all we know.” Jody patted his shoulder.

    “Don’t mention it; I saw what you were going though. I’m just doing my job,” she bobbed her head a little, “the illegal way. You’re a good kid, Castiel; you need the chance to live your life. The place you’re going is filled with decent people; you’ll be welcomed there easily. This will be a good beginning for you, just don’t mess it up.”

    “Believe me, I won’t. We’ve worked too hard for me to ruin it all.” Castiel replied earnestly adjusting the papers in his arms.

    “You better get going, you have a long drive ahead of you; and I’m sure you don’t want to be in this city any longer” Jody took a step back and leaned against the squad car giving space for Castiel to slide into the truck. Castiel smiled and nodded as he opened the car door and slipped in. putting the stack of papers and backpack on the passenger seat. He twisted the key that was already in the ignition as the truck roared to life. He rolled down the window to say his final goodbyes.

    “Thank you again.” Castiel said genuinely.

    “You’re going to go horse saying it. I know Castiel. I’ll know that you are once you leave. Just go live your life.” Jody replied hastily. Without another word Castiel pulled the truck into reverse and started to pull out of the driveway. Their last form of a communication was a genuine smile and wave before Castiel was off her property driving away.

    It finally happened, Castiel was driving on the road, leaving every single thing he knew behind, and from the speed of 48 mph Castiel was becoming innovated person; stripping away old memories to create new ones. He could feel it in his bloodstream, adrenaline and relief was surging though him; Castiel left like he was flying, feeling more alive than he ever did in his life. Laughter escaped his lips; he didn’t hold it back whatsoever. His emotions overflowed with delight so much that his mind didn’t know how to deal, tears flowed down his face while he wanted to bounce up and down in his seat. He didn’t wipe away the joyful tears; he kept both hands on the wheel looking forward want to accelerate past the speed limit. Castiel sat in elated silence for a while until he hit the freeway filled with streetlamp; after relaxing only a little bit he turned on the radio, he never really listened to music in his life, but he figured now would be a good time to start. Switching though the local stations he flipped though until he heard something that caught his ear, the sound of soft rock filled the truck, Castiel took note of the lyrics remembering them to find later, _My soul slides away, but don’t look back in anger, I heard you say._ The music flowed through his ears, the mixture of piano, guitar and drums soothed him as he drove on the smooth road. Castiel’s entire world was in place, like he was meant to be driving to South Dakota; he was supposed to be driving on a near empty road in the middle of the night. Fate wanted him to drive off to a new existence, to reinvent himself; he enjoyed the idea of thinking the minute he was born he was meant to run off. A slight smile hung on Castiel’s face as he drove forward into the night.

    Castiel’s drive was filled with music from rock stations and coffee, the first stop he took was a few miles into Iowa to fill up on gas, coffee, and small snacks. Every time he waited for the gas tank to fill up he’s write down lyrics and titles of songs he liked, filling it up with artists like Oasis, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Fall Out Boy, and Nirvana. He also tried to stretch out his body as much as possible before sitting in the car for a few more hours; but they didn’t last long because his eagerness got him back on the road within 10 minutes. Tiredness crept in more the more miles Castiel covered, he regretted not taking a nap earlier instead of laying down daydreaming for hours. As time passed night turned into early morning Castiel was exhausted, once it turned 6a.m. he was about ready to pull over and fall asleep for a few hours; but, instead downed more bottles of ice coffee and kept trudging on. Early morning turned into mid-morning and Castiel finally reached Sioux Falls, it was almost 10a.m. His destination was right outside of the city, a couple miles away from Lake Alvin; he followed the printed directions to a garage and salvage yard with a two story blue house on the other side of the lot. He followed the gravel to the house and parked it by a faded green AMT's '72 Chevelle. Castiel cut off the engine and sat still for a second, it wasn’t because he was nervous or scared, he would have jumped out of the car if he had the energy to do so. But the long hours of driving drained him; but he climbed out of the truck with the backpacks, one on his shoulder and one in his hand. He stumbled up to the front porch to the entrance door; he knocked on the door and waited for someone to hopefully answer. After a moment a gruff man in his late 50s in a beaten up baseball cap answered the door,

    “Yea?” he asked in a curt voice,

    “Are you Bobby Singer?” Castiel asked too tired to ask politely,

    “Yea, I am, and who are you?”

    “I’m Castiel. Jody Mills told me to come here.”

    “Figured it’d be you; come on now get in.” Bobby walked out of the doorway to let Castiel enter. He walked to the deep red living room that was filled with books stacked on top of each other; the room was stuffy and smelled faintly of whisky. Castiel went directly to the couch to sit down, he couldn’t stand up for long because he was runny so low on energy. “Want something from the fridge?” Bobby asked him heading into the kitchen.

    “Coffee, please.” He spat out before even realizing it, Bobby looked back at him skeptically,

    “How much coffee have you had in the past 24 hours?”

    “I’ve lost count.” Castiel replied.

    “When was the last you slept?” Castiel had to sit there for a moment, calculating the hours in his head.

    “28 hours ago.” They were both somewhat baffled by how long he had been up. “I’m cuttin’ you off, boy.” Bobby closed the fridge,

    “Damn sure looks like it.” A voice rose from the kitchen table, Castiel was too tired to notice the body slouched over in a wooded chair. He looked over to see a brown haired boy with oil smudges covering a good portion of his face. Castiel’s eyesight was getting to burry to see his face very, he could only see the blunt face shape and small flickers of green. “So this is who you were talkin’ about the other day right? He’s gonna be crashin over here now?”

    “Yea it is.” Bobby retorted as he handed a bottle of water to Castiel.

    “What was your name again?” the boy asked him.

    “Uh, Castiel, Castiel Novak.” He slurred slightly,

    “Dean, Winchester. Since were being formal.” Dean mused.

    “Hello Dean.” Castiel opened the water bottle and sipped it slowly letting it flush the stale taste of coffee down his throat.

    “Alright, time for you to go get some shuteye since you haven’t slept in how many hours. Your room is upstairs on the left, next to the bathroom.” Bobby interrupted,

    “Thank you.” Castiel got up the two backpacks and headed upstairs. His feet barely made it to the next step the more he walked up the stairs. Following Bobby’s simple instructions he found himself in a rather empty room besides a queen size bed and a brown dresser. Castiel threw the bags in one of the corners of the room and closed the door. He stripped off all of his clothes until he was only in his white tee and boxers and climbed into the bed. Castiel’s muscles became limp and a heavy sigh erupted from his mouth. He did not fall asleep instantly; he lay still in a foggy haze. Out of all the things he could think of in that moment he thought of the letter that would have been found on his old desk. The words were so clear in his mind that he could recite it perfectly.

_To my family I may leave behind, In times of great desperation, any man would make a decision that would either destroy his life or, by a stroke of luck change his life for the better. But, being born in desperation is very different. Born into desperation makes a man takes his time making a choice, picking out every single detail, praying he selected the superior. Although rarely ever does end up correct. Desperate times break a man, a desperate life builds one, they are constructed for the moment of happiness, when they can truly smile and relax, the weight being thrown off their shoulders. Some wait their entire lives for that one moment; but, people like me are impatient. We go out and look for the happiness, and this decision that I have chosen shall be my happiness. Even if I am wrong I cannot sit around and ponder the idea if it is or isn’t. I pray that this will fill my lungs with liquid bliss and surround my final moments in memorable memories. But all I ask is that you don’t fill your mind with a never-ending paradox of why I decided much a morbid choice. I wish that my death will bring light to others lives. May my absence bring relief and not sorrow. Let Samandriel have whatever he wants from my possessions, and the rest give away to people who need it. The money from my main bank account will go into Samandriel’s collage fund. I hope he enjoys whatever he majors in if he do decides to attend; I wish he will live a full and joyful life. From my other account, I would like the money to go to charity; a charity to free the monkeys, and with whatever’s left please give it to a needing charity. People should thrive off from me leaving this earth. My life was a privilege for the most part and I never took it for granted. I was supplemented with whatever I needed, and gotten every opportunity that I ever wanted. But, whatever I wanted was smothering me; my life felt as though I was trapped and was never able to be free. I felt as though I had only one direction my life was heading to and I never wanted to go there. When I tried to explain it to anyone, besides Samandriel and Gabriel, I was told was irrational and broken. You all attempted to ‘fix’ me by medication and whipping me into an ideal person. With everything that has happened in my life, I am not upset, I am not resenting any of you in my final moments; but I am not sorry for being who I was. Finally, please respect and Samandriel and trust him. He is a bright boy who knows what he’s doing; he’s not like me. May my father and brothers, Michael, Zachariah, Gabriel, and Samandriel, not live in grief and pain any longer. I love you all and always will._

_-Castiel_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song lyrics is Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis


End file.
